«My voice has gotten a lot better over the last 10 years, especially when it comes to ballads. … I had thyroid cancer a few years back and had a very serious operation, but I was lucky: I was in and out of the hospital in two or three days. And that sort of lowered my voice a little bit, about half a tone. So it gave it a warmth that previously wasn’t there.»
•→ INTRODUCTION … [voice =
In the hall, the lights stay down and the crowd continues to call for a third encore. But I’m off down the fluorescent-lit backstage, and out through the service doors at the back of the arena, into a waiting car, the noise of the clapping and stamping receding behind me, until the chunk of the limo doors seals out completely and the car sweeps me away.
Away, on this one night in particular, in July 1995, to an airstrip near Gothenburg, and a waiting private plane. A change of clothes is ready for me in the limo and I wriggle into them as we drive. Behind me, 30,000 hollering Swedish fans. Ahead of me, a short flight to London, in the company of a few members of my team who were also primed to ‘do a runner’ at the show’s end. The Spanner in the Works tour kicked off in June and is scheduled to run until May the following year, but there is a window in the schedule and I’m heading home.
And this is always the moment, with my feet outstretched as the plane picks up speed and lifts off the runway, when I finally relax, allow the adrenalin of the previous two hours to settle, enjoy the prospect of a night in my own bed, and anticipate the meal that the cabin crew will soon prepare, the glass of cold wine that will go with it and the satisfaction at the end of a day’s work.
Except that this time . . . Thump! ‘What the hell was that?’
We are hardly into our ascent when there is an almighty wallop on the left-hand side. ‘Was that the wing?’
The plane banks sharply, then gradually levels. ‘What’s happening?’
Startled rigid in my seat, I look around the cabin at the faces of the people with me, seeking comfort. Next to me, my great mate Alan Sewell – solid, dependable Big Al, a second-hand car dealer by trade and a gentlemen of ample proportions, often mistaken for a bodyguard at my side – has turned white and is about to begin shaking like a jelly.
Opposite, Annie Challis, part of my manager’s team, gives me a reassuring look and says, ‘I’m certain it’s nothing, darling.’ But that reassuring look seems to be costing her some effort, which kind of removes the reassurance from it.
Meanwhile, near Annie sits my beloved and all-knowing manager, Arnold Stiefel, engrossed in the latest issue of Architectural Digest. As he continues to turn the pages, Arnold alone seems unperturbed, although I notice he is sniffing the air rather quizzically. Seconds later he blithely declares, ‘It smells just like Thanksgiving.’ It’s true. A strangely wholesome smell of roasting fowl has begun to pervade the cabin. Odd time to start heating up my meal, surely.
No time to worry about that. The pilot speaks to us from the deck. «We’re going back to the airport.» He sounds relaxed enough. But they always do, don’t they? That’s what they’re paid for.
The minutes that follow, in which the plane haltingly turns and readies itself to descend, hang heavily. Big Al continues to tremble. Annie continues to look unreassuringly reassuring. Arnold has discarded both his magazine and his confident demeanor and is intensely studying the in-case-of-emergency laminated card, as if in preparation.
Now, in a flood of cold fear, I begin to wonder: Is this it? Is this where my number finally comes up? True, my life has been a full one — more spectacular and privileged and colorful than I would have dared even dream, with adventures and wealth and love beyond my share — but even so, is this how it all ends: in the arms of Big Al, in a field in Sweden?
Through the window of the plunging plane, I notice that the runway has been covered in foam and the perimeter of the airfield is alive with the blinking lights of emergency vehicles. But I somehow keep it together. I rein it in and remain calm and in control. If it must be, then so it must be. «It’s all right,» I say, in a quiet voice. Then, slightly louder, «It’s all right.» Then in a kind of half-shout, «It’s all right!« Then, finally, in a shrill and rising scream, «It’s all right!«
It was all right. A bird strike, apparently. One unlucky member of a passing flock of geese, sucked into the engine. The bird was ruined, and so, too, was the engine. Good job the plane had another one and was able to land. It wouldn’t have been the first time in my long and distinguished career that I had handed the tabloids a gift-wrapped headline: «Rod Cooks His Goose.» And luck within luck. After we had driven back to the hotel where the band were staying, and joined them in the bar for several stiff drinks and some dramatic reenactments of the incident, I learned that, only the previous day, our pilot had attended a refresher course on controlling a plane in the event of an engine loss.
Kind of sums up my life, really. An awful lot of the way, it’s been a long, luxury aircraft ride. But just occasionally the plane flies into a goose. And somehow, every time it does, I get lucky and live to tell the tale.
•→[Chapter 1]⇐ // •→ Read another excerpt…⇐[2012]
And so you come to me with your questions
On a subject on which I’m well-versed
Though I’m still as dumbfounded as the first time I found her
It’s either a blessing or a curse
Although I cannot offer solutions
It would be reckless of me to try
Cause it’s mystified man ever since time began
But hold on to your hat and I’ll try
Love is like a burning arrow
It can pierce the coldest heart
Love is warm, love is patient
And the craziest thing you’ll ever start
All right
I recall when I was a young man
A day I’m never allowed to forget
There was a girl that I met who I dreamed I would wed
Forever our lives entwined
She said «you gotta stop worrying about the future»
«You know we’re far too young for that»
«I wanna spread my wings like a willow in the spring»
I never saw her pretty face again
Love is life, love is yearning
It does not boast, but speaks the truth
Love is fair and knows no boundaries
And the craziest thing you’ll ever do
Oh, yeah
I wish you well in all of your travels
And may you find what you’re searching for
It’ll hit you like thunder when you find one another
And stay in your heart forevermore
Love is like a four-leaf clover
Hard to find and hold onto
Love is blind, love is tender
And the craziest thing you’ll ever do
So crazy
∇ ‘One More Time’ ⇓ [«The Tears of Hercules»_2021]
It’s not the color of your hair, or the beauty in your eyes That I’ll be missing
Or the sunshine in your smile, or those ruby red lips I’ve been kissing
Now your family don’t like me, this I understand I don’t wanna settle down
I am just a rambling man I’d rather be out rocking with my good old country band
It was great while it lasted, yea yea And together we smashed it, yea yea
There’s just one more thing to do, yea yea I know that I can keep a secret, baby can you too? yea yea
One more time baby One more time One more time just for old time sake
Now if we have to separate and find someone new It’s hard to imagine somebody else with you
You taught me how to nasty in those naughty high heel shoes The Devil wears Prada
We were lovers for a while, but it all came crashing down The sex was immense, by a good old country mile
Make no mistake, you’ll always be on speed dial
It was great while it lasted, yea yea And together we smashed it, yea yea
There’s only one more thing to do, yea yea I know that I can keep a secret, baby can you too?
One more time baby One more time One more time just for old time sake …
Now I hope you find what you are searching for Someone to cuddle and kiss you as you walk through the door
And honor you with children and stay together forever
So it’s bon voyage, farewell, au revoir I’m going down to Woodstock in my beat-up Jaguar
There’s no regrets or sadness, but maybe we should’ve known better
It was great while it lasted, yea yea And together we smashed it, yea yea
There’s just one more thing to do, yea yea
I know that I can keep a secret, baby can you too? yea yea
One more time baby One more time One more time just for old time sake …
∇ ‘Didn’t I’ ⇓ ft. Bridget Cady [2018]
∇ ‘Maggie May’ ⇓
… I’ll get on back home, Maggie – I’ll get on back home, Maggie!
When the weather’s better and the rails unfreeze
The wind don’t whistle ‘round my knees
I’ll put on my weddin’ suit and catch the evening train
I’ll be home before the milk’s upon the door
And if I’m called away and it’s my turn to go
Should the blood run cold in my veins
Just one favor I’ll be asking of you
Don’t bury me here, it’s too cold
Carry me home, roll me home
Down to Gasoline Alley where I was born…
⇐
Found my love by the gaswork croftDreamed a dream by the old canal
Kissed my girl by the factory wall
Dirty old town, dirty old town
I heard a siren from the dock
Saw a train set the night on fire
Smelled the spring on the sulfured wind
Dirty old town, whoa-oh, dirty old town
We’re goin’ to take a good sharp axe
Shining steel tempered in the fire
And we’ll chop you down like an old dead tree
Dirty old town, dirty old town
Dirty old town, whoa-oh, dirty old town
And oh we’ll chop you down
Oh, dirty, dirty, dirty old town
Dirty old town, dirty old town
And oh whoa-oh dirty old town
Chop you down one of these days
◊ ‘Downtown Train’ ↓ [T Waits]
Outside another yellow moon has punched a hole in the night time mist I climb through the window and down to the street I’m shining like a new dime The downtown trains are full full of all them Brooklyn girls They try so hard to break out of their little worlds You wave your hand and they scatter like crows They have nothing that’ll ever capture your heart They’re just thorns without the rose Be careful of them in the dark Oh if I was the one you chose to be your only one Oh baby can’t you hear me now, can’t you hear me now Will I see you tonight on a downtown train Every night, every night its just the same On a downtown train I know your window and I know it’s late I know your stairs and your doorway I walk down your street and past your gate I stand by the light of the four way and watch them as they fall, oh baby They all having their heart attacks They stay at the carnival but they’ll never win you back Will I see you tonight on a downtown train Every night, every night its just the same You leave me lonely Will I see you tonight on a downtown train All my dreams, all my dreams fall like rain On a downtown train Will I see you tonight on a downtown train Every night, every night its just the same Will I see you tonight on a downtown train All my dreams, all my dreams fall like rain On a downtown train – On a downtown train All my dreams fall like rain on a downtown train◊ ‘Fooled Around & Fell In Love’ ⇓ [E. Bishop]
I must have been through about a million girls
I’d love ‘em and I’d leave ‘em alone
I didn’t care how much they cried, no sir
Their tears left me cold as a stone
But then I fooled around and fell in love
I fooled around and fell in love . . .
It used to be when I see a girl that I like
I get out my book and write down her name
But when the grass got a little greener over on the other side
I just tear that date
But then I fooled around and fell in love
I fooled around and fell in love . . .
Since I met you baby
I fooled around and fell in love . . .
Yes I did… But I’ve been so messed-up, babe
and guess what, I’m in love … I’m in love
Free on my own, that’s the way I used to be
but since I met you baby Love’s got a hold on me
I fooled around and fell in love . . .
Yes I did . . . I fooled around … fooled around… and fell in love, yeah
∞ w/ Cyndi Lauper ⇓ ‘This Old Heart of Mine’ [2017]
This old heart of mine been broke a thousand times
Each time you break away I feel you’re gone to stay
Lonely nights that come memories that go
Bringing you back again hurting me more and more
Maybe it’s my mistake to show this love that I feel inside
I’m yours whenever you want me
I’m not too proud to shout it, tell the world about it ‘cause
I love you, this old heart
I love you, yes I do, wait for me
I try hard to hide my hurt inside
This old heart of mine always keeps me crying
The way you treat me leaves me incomplete
You’re here for the day gone for the week
But if leave me a hundred times, a hundred times I’ll take you back
I’m yours whenever you want me
I’m not too proud to shout it, tell the world about it ‘cause
I love you, this old heart weeps for you
And I love you, I love you, this old heart weeps for you
Maybe it’s my mistake to show this love that I feel inside girl
‘Cause each day that passes by
You got me never knowing if I’m coming or going cause
I love you, this old heart weeps for you . . .
I love you, too . . .
⇓ ‘The Way You Look Tonight’←
«Some day, when I’m awfully low, when the world is cold,I will feel a glow just thinking of you and the way you look tonight…»
◊ ‘Purple Heather’ ⇓
Oh, the summertime is gone
And the leaves are sweetly turning
And the wild mountain thyme blooms across the purple heather
Will you go, lassie, go
If you will not go with me
I will never find another to pick wild mountain thyme
All along the purple heather
Will you go, lassie, go
And we’ll all go together to pick wild mountain thyme
All among the purple heather
Will you go, lassie go – Lassie go
I will build my love a tower by the cool crests of waters
And I’ll cling to her forever like the ivy to the heather
Will you go, lassie, go
… And we’ll all go together to pick wild mountain thyme
All along the purple heather
Will you go, lassie go – Lassie, go
Will you go, lassie, go . . .
And we’ll all go together to pick wild mountain thyme
All along the purple heather
Will you go, lassie go
And we’ll all go together to pull wild mountain thyme
All across the purple heather
Will you go, lassie go – Lassie, go, lassie, go
♥ ‘Rhythm of my Heart‘ ↓
(«…I devoted this song to all long suffering soldiers – whether you think they should be there or not – they’re still there – bless their souls. . .» 2004)
Down in the gutter life is slipping away
Let me still exist in another place
Running under cover of a helicopter blade
The flames are getting higher in effigyBurning down the bridges of my memory
Love may still be alive somewhere some way
Where they’re downing only deer a hundred steel towns away Oh, rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum
With the words I love you rolling off my tongue
No, never will I roam for I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky I’ll be sailing Photographs and kerosene light up my darkness
light it up, light it up …
I can still feel the touch of your thin blue jeans
Running down the alley I’ve got my eyes all over you baby
Oh baby Ah, the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum . . . Oh, I’ve got lightning in my veins
Shifting like the handle of a slot machine
Love may still exist in another place
I’m just yanking back the handle, no expression on my face The rhythm of my heart beats like a drum
With the words I love you rolling off a mad song
Never will I roam for I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky I’ll be sailing . . .
∇ Ten from The Troubadour ↓ [2013]
1. Can’t Stop Me Now←
2. Forever Young←
3. It’s Over ←
4. Rhythm of My Heart←
5. Finest Woman←
6. You Wear It Well←
7. She Makes Me Happy←
8. Have I Told You Lately←
9. Brighton Beach←
10. Sexual Religion←
÷ ÷ ÷ ÷ ÷ ÷
Φ The Fire and Thunder of Scotland ⇐
•→ Colin’s solo ⇐[Feb_2012]
•→ A’Mhaighdeann Bharrach (The Maiden of Barra)⇐
♦→ The Gael ⇓
◊ The Uprising ↓
I wonder what you felt inside as they dragged you through foreign streets
The townsfolk spat venom at you as churchmen took their seats
And did you think of your Motherland as you stood there center stage
Or did you feel suppression, Dear Sir, like an animal in a cage?
I wonder what you felt inside as they hung you by your throat
Through tear-welled eyes you looked out as the crowd began to gloat.
And when they cut you down so that your body slammed the ground
Did you pray to God for strength, Dear Sir, to fight another round?
I wonder what you felt inside when you burned with ropes pulled tight
Did you see the glee upon their faces as they watched you lose the fight?
And when every inch of your body cried out with the burning, searing pain,
Did it ever cross your mind, Dear Sir, was it all in vain?
I wonder what you felt inside when you met the butcher’s blade
Did you see their blank expressions as they watched your life-force fade?
Or did your soul break free from the pain and the hurt to a pine covered glen
And will you ever know, Dear Sir, what a hero you became?
Aye, will you ever know, Dear Sir, What a hero you became?
(shouted)
Don’t fear their cannons or their muskets! Charge with me!
We fight for what we love! We fight for our country!
Scotsmen! Charge, For Scotland!
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