{"id":8321,"date":"2015-02-18T19:51:01","date_gmt":"2015-02-18T19:51:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eoisabi.org\/?p=8321"},"modified":"2022-07-30T15:36:31","modified_gmt":"2022-07-30T15:36:31","slug":"ethnocide-in-the-outback","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/?p=8321","title":{"rendered":"A U S T R A L I A"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">\u00a4 \u00a0Ethnocide in the Outback<\/span><\/h4>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">An animated <strong>history<\/strong> of Australia, from European discovery to modern days; funny, slapstick humour, with a little satire thrown in\u00a0\u2193<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=PhY9PBceqYY\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-50871\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Australia.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"519\" height=\"432\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Australia.jpg 814w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Australia-300x250.jpg 300w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Australia-768x640.jpg 768w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Australia-150x125.jpg 150w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Australia-400x333.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 519px) 100vw, 519px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u25ca \u00a0Australian Aboriginal Genocide \u00a0\u2193\u00a0<\/strong>[info from Australian government sources]<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Z7eubc-Yk3M\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50873\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Oz.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"501\" height=\"376\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Oz.jpg 501w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Oz-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Oz-150x113.jpg 150w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Oz-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 501px) 100vw, 501px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u2022\u2192 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=U-pYhyzxAaQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Aboriginal History<\/a> \u21d0 <\/strong>From the Dreamtime to the arrival of the British&#8230;till now.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u2022\u2192\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=w1dc5uo17rY\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>200+ years<\/strong> of Aboriginal Australian History<\/a>\u00a0 \u21d0<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00d0\u00a0 \u00a0Dreamtime \u00a0\u2193<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/H7oE4sKIDuU\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h6>\u03a6\u00a0 \u00a0Aboriginal Transrock \u00a0\u2193 \u00a0NGORUNDERI<\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Features excerpts from the film production of the Australian Aborigines-first Australians. and tribal initiation. The title track is linked to the mythical figure of a god or ancestor of the tribes of Australia cosmology:\u00a0<strong>NGURUDERI<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=KkShNhLrTgQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-50874\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ngurunderi.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"311\" height=\"277\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ngurunderi.png 174w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ngurunderi-150x134.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 311px) 100vw, 311px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h6>\u2261\u00a0 The Rainbow Serpent \u00a0\u2193<\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">The Rainbow Serpent participates in the creation of the world in so many of the Aboriginal Myths of Dreamtime. This version is an amalgamation, but based largely on the work of Dick Roughsey \u00a0[Music by Richard Walley]<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=pCuuRRrfOXo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-50875\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Rainbow-serpent.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"475\" height=\"356\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Rainbow-serpent.jpg 886w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Rainbow-serpent-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Rainbow-serpent-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Rainbow-serpent-150x112.jpg 150w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Rainbow-serpent-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 475px) 100vw, 475px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h6>\u2022\u2192\u00a0\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Sle62XV0BO0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Aboriginal Dreamtime Story<\/a> \u21d0<\/h6>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/V1pDPuetPdg\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=-yILM3L2sXM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-44405\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/wmatilda.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"309\" height=\"108\" \/><\/a><\/h5>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00ab<strong>Waltzing Matilda<\/strong>\u00bb is Australia&#8217;s most widely known bush ballad. This country folk song by Rolph Harris is felt by many Australians as \u00abthe unofficial national anthem of their country\u00bb.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">The title is Australian slang for travelling by foot with one&#8217;s goods (waltzing, derived from the German auf der Walz) in a \u00ab<strong>Matilda<\/strong>\u00bb (a swagman&#8217;s bundle) slung over one&#8217;s back. The song narrates the story of an itinerant worker, or \u00abswagman\u00bb, making a drink of tea at a bush camp and capturing a sheep to eat. When the sheep&#8217;s owner arrives with three police officers to arrest the worker for the theft, the worker commits suicide by drowning himself in the nearby watering hole, after which his ghost haunts the site.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/KL4v7UrqcF4\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong<br \/>\nUnder the shade of a coolibah tree,<br \/>\nAnd he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled:<br \/>\n\u00abWho&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me?\u00bb<\/p>\n<p>Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me<br \/>\nAnd he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled:<br \/>\n\u00abYou&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me.\u00bb<\/p>\n<p>Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong.<br \/>\nUp jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee.<br \/>\nAnd he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag:<br \/>\n\u00abYou&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me.\u00bb<\/p>\n<p>Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda<br \/>\n\u00abYou&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me\u00bb,<br \/>\nAnd he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag:<br \/>\n\u00abYou&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me.\u00bb<\/p>\n<p>Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda<br \/>\n\u00abYou&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me\u00bb,<br \/>\n\u00abRide up with that jumbuck you&#8217;ve got in your tucker bag?<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me.\u00bb<\/p>\n<p>So up jumped the swagman and sprang into the billabong&#8230;<br \/>\n\u00abYou&#8217;ll never take me alive!\u00bb said he<br \/>\nAnd his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong:<br \/>\n\u00abWho&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me?\u00bb<\/p>\n<p>Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda<br \/>\n\u00abYou&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me. . .\u00bb<br \/>\nAnd his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong:<br \/>\n\u00abWho&#8217;ll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me?\u00bb<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VEVKUE_ma00\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-44406\" src=\"http:\/\/www.eoisabi.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Waltzing-Matilda.jpg\" alt=\"Waltzing-Matilda\" width=\"187\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Waltzing-Matilda.jpg 187w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Waltzing-Matilda-150x120.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 187px) 100vw, 187px\" \/><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>&#8211;\u00a0<a title=\"Swagman\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Swagman\">swagman<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0a man who travelled the country looking for work. The swagman&#8217;s \u00ab<strong><a title=\"Swag (bedroll)\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Swag_(bedroll)\">swag<\/a><\/strong>\u00ab, which he carried on his back, was a blanket or cloth that wrapped up his belongings.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>&#8211;\u00a0<a title=\"Billabong\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Billabong\">billabong<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0an\u00a0<a title=\"Oxbow lake\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Oxbow_lake\">oxbow lake<\/a>\u00a0(a cut-off river bend) found alongside a meandering river.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>&#8211;\u00a0<a title=\"Eucalyptus coolabah\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Eucalyptus_coolabah\">coolibah tree<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0a kind of\u00a0<a title=\"Eucalyptus\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Eucalyptus\">eucalyptus<\/a>\u00a0tree which grows near billabongs.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>&#8211;\u00a0<a title=\"Jumbuck\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Jumbuck\">jumbuck<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0a sheep.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><sup id=\"cite_ref-NLA_25-1\"><\/sup><strong>&#8211;\u00a0<a title=\"Billycan\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Billycan\">billy<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0a can for boiling water in, usually 2\u20133\u00a0<a title=\"Pint\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Pint\">pints<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>&#8211;\u00a0<a title=\"Tucker bag\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Tucker_bag\">tucker bag<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0a bag for carrying food (\u00abtucker\u00bb)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>&#8211;\u00a0<a title=\"Trooper (police rank)\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Trooper_(police_rank)\">troopers<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0policemen.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>&#8211;\u00a0<a title=\"Squatting (pastoral)\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Squatting_(pastoral)\">squatter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0Australian squatters started as early farmers who raised livestock on land which they did not legally have the right to use; in many cases they later gained legal use of the land even though they did not have full possession, and became wealthy thanks to these large land holdings. The squatter&#8217;s claim to the land may be as uncertain as the swagman&#8217;s claim to the jumbuck.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">\u00a4 Glossaries of Australian slang &#8230; <\/span><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.goingrank.com.au\/glossary.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u21d2[01]\u21d0<\/a>\u00a0\/\u00a0<\/strong><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.koalanet.com.au\/australian-slang.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u21d2[02]\u21d0<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: right;\">\u00a4 \u00a0 Aussie English\u00a0\u2193 \u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=1cDFT-r4Fu8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u21d2[vid 01]<\/a>\u00a0\u21d4\u00a0<\/strong><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=K6sn8u0GjQ0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">[vid 02]<\/a>\u00a0\u21d4\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xuRrp83jCuQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">[vid 03]\u21d0<\/a><\/strong><\/h6>\n<h6 id=\"watch-headline-title\" style=\"text-align: left;\">\u2666 \u00a0Ned Kelly&#8217;s Last Stand at Glenrowan\u00a0\u2193 \u00a0[June 1880]<\/h6>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ned-Kelly.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-50884\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ned-Kelly.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"354\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ned-Kelly.jpg 564w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ned-Kelly-212x300.jpg 212w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ned-Kelly-106x150.jpg 106w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Ned-Kelly-400x567.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<address>In Australia a bandit or an outlaw was called a bushranger.<\/address>\n<address>One of Australia&#8217;s most infamous bushrangers was a man named Ned Kelly<\/address>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ned Kelly was a wild young bushranger<br \/>\nOut of Victoria he rode with his brother Dan<br \/>\nHe loved his people and he loved his freedom<br \/>\nAnd he loved to ride the wide open land<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ned Kelly was a victim of the changes<br \/>\nThat came when his land was a sprout and seed<br \/>\nAnd the wrongs he did were multiplied in legend<br \/>\nWith young Australia growing like a weed<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ned Kelly took the blame\u00a0 &#8211;\u00a0Ned Kelly won the fame<br \/>\nNed Kelly brought the shame\u00a0 &#8211;\u00a0And then Ned Kelly hanged<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Well he hid out in the bush and in the forest<br \/>\nAnd he loved to hear the wind blow in the trees<br \/>\nWhile the men behind the badge were coming for him<br \/>\nNed said they&#8217;ll never bring me to my knees<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">But everything was changed and run in cycles<br \/>\nAnd Ned knew that his day was at an end<br \/>\nHe made a suit of armour out of ploughshares<br \/>\nBut Ned was brought down by the trooper&#8217;s men<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ned Kelly took the blame\u00a0 &#8211;\u00a0Ned Kelly won the fame<br \/>\nNed Kelly brought the shame\u00a0 &#8211;\u00a0And then Ned Kelly hanged<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=LIE3wqKMKKE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50887\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/NK.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"236\" height=\"214\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/NK.jpg 236w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/NK-150x136.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h6 id=\"watch-headline-title\" style=\"text-align: right;\">\u2022\u2192\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?t=14&amp;v=QCgKd7oghLI\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Top 10 Tourist Destinations<\/a>\u21d0<\/h6>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: right;\">\u00a4\u00a0\u2192\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/video.nationalgeographic.com\/video\/places\/parks-and-nature-places\/oceans\/oceans-barrier-reef\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Great Barrier Reef\u00a0<\/a>\u2190 [National Geographic]<\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">The largest living structure, the Great Barrier Reef spans more than 1,200 miles (2,000 kilometers) of islands and submerged reefs. A plethora of coral thrives here, along with a sweep of parrotfish, surgeonfish, barracuda, and sharks.<\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: left;\">\u2666 \u00a0Historian and archeologist Neil Oliver\u00a0coasts down under\u00a0\u21d3<\/h6>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lcu5cIYM2s8\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div id=\"content-window\">\n<h5 id=\"watch-headline-title\" style=\"text-align: center;\">\u25ca\u2192\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Kcv8tXZKrqk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Adam Hills<\/a> \u2193\u00a0Aussie accents \u00a0[Melbourne, 2006]<\/h5>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/KpBYnL5fAXE\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">I am aware that as Australians we do have the most annoying accent on the planet.\u00a0I am sure you are aware of, for we all do.\u00a0If you&#8217;re aware we all go up at the end of every sentence, cause we&#8217;re all too insecure to actually make a statement.\u00a0So we have to make it sound like it&#8217;s a question. Cause we secretly need your approval. Even when it&#8217;s something serious.<br \/>\n<em>\u00abSuzzy got eaten by a shark.\u00bb<\/em><br \/>\nI&#8217;m afraid there going to be high court judgers in 30 years time handing out verdicts going <em>\u00abI found you guilty of murder.\u00bb<\/em><br \/>\nAnd you know what we do here in Australia? I didn&#8217;t realize &#8216;till we went overseas. We ask questions that don&#8217;t need answering.<br \/>\n<em>\u00abHow nice was the weather today?\u00bb<\/em><br \/>\nI didn&#8217;t know we did that until I got to England. I was with a group of English people<br \/>\n<em>\u00abOh, how heavy is that rain?\u00bb<\/em><br \/>\nThey just looked at me..<br \/>\n<em>\u00abReally heavy?\u00bb<\/em><br \/>\nI think Jesus might&#8217;ve been an Australian. I think maybe Jesus was\u00a0an Aussie and we&#8217;ve just been reading his scriptures with the wrong inflection. Maybe Jesus walked out in the Sermon of the Mount and just went <em>\u00abOhh, how blessed are the meek?\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">And of course the irony of it all is that we&#8217;re always so arbitrary about the languages we speak in Australia. We were almost colonised by the French. In fact we were almost colonized by the Dutch.<br \/>\nThe Dutch arrived in the 1600s but they arrived in the part of Western Australia where desert basically meets ocean. The Dutch basically walked off their ships and walked around going <em>\u00abWell this is ridiculous&#8230;we cannot grow marihuana crops here.\u00bb<\/em> They sailed off.<br \/>\nThe French arrived 150 or so years later, but they arrived in Botany Bay, next to city harbour but kinda like swampy, marshland. The French looked around going \u00ab<em>Well I agree with the Dutch, this place is shit.<\/em> [mimics French]\u00bb They sailed off.<br \/>\nCaptain Cook arrived in Botany Bay but in a rare display of British optimism. He looked around and went <em>\u00abWell it is a bit shit, but I think if we go around the corner it might be nicer.\u00bb<\/em> Although to be fair, I have done my research, Captain Cook would not have sounded like that. Cause Captain Cook actually came from Yorkshire, which means the first words heard by English people upon sailing to Australia would&#8217;ve been <em>\u00abThis place is focking shite!\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u2207\u00a0 Adam Hills\u00a0 \u21d3\u00a0<\/strong> \u00a0Edinburgh Comedy Fest_2010<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/KtNt0IqGbkw\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0 \u2666 \u00a0 \u25ca\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Steve Hughes\u00a0 \u21d3<\/h5>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/60VUtxmN1IE\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">London&#8230; Excellent. How are you? \u21d1 My name&#8217;s Steve. I&#8217;m, er, I&#8217;m from Australia actually. Some of you have probably been to Australia, or some may have probably thought about going to Australia and then&#8230; how&#8230; how&#8230;long does it take to get there? 27 hours, by plane, 27 hours in a tube of farts, it&#8217;s a reality now that you really wanna, you know, take on board, and that&#8217;s what really happens. You&#8217;re sitting there for day and a half with 600 other people eating airline food, I&#8217;m telling you &#8211; someone&#8217;s farted, you understand? You get to Australia, you think you got jetlag; just telling you, it&#8217;s not jetlag, you understand? You&#8217;ve been [&#8230;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">It&#8217;s a ridiculous distance for any place to be on earth, for god&#8217;s sake, the\u00a0next stop is the Moon!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">It&#8217;s all like that &#8211; growing up there &#8211; you stand in there all the time going, <em>\u00abWhat&#8217;s the rest of the world doing? What are they up to? Can we join in?!<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u00abNo.\u00bb<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-50888 alignright\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/SH.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"364\" height=\"273\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/SH.jpg 480w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/SH-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/SH-150x113.jpg 150w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/SH-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 364px) 100vw, 364px\" \/><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u00abWhy not?\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u00abCause it&#8217;s a 12-hour drive to the airport. Sit down.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ridic&#8230; and there&#8217;s no-one there. It&#8217;s a continent twice the size of Europe, there&#8217;s 22 million people there: that&#8217;s no-one, you understand? It&#8217;s no-one there. You wanna see a queue in Australia?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">An idea, they think &#8211; they think it&#8217;s crowded &#8211; you know what I&#8217;m talking about . . . Mumbai, in India, 28 million people &#8211; one city. That&#8217;s crowded &#8211; That&#8217;s traffic. Try an put health and safety regulations on these people&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Selling raw chicken on a piece of cardboard in the sun &#8211; It&#8217;s a brilliant place! We&#8217;re always told in the West that we live in the free countries, but [&#8230;?] knows that&#8217;s necessarily true all the time, because you know freedom is a multifaceted construct &#8211; hum -which expands beyond political ideology &#8230; Yes &#8230; And I&#8217;ve been to Mumbai, and you can do whatever you want. You can break the law &#8211; You can do whatever you want. You wanna sell some socks on the bridge? Sell some socks on the bridge!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u00abWhere&#8217;s your sock, mate?\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u00abHere. What do you want? I get three socks, a battery and a [&#8230;?] You want it?\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">[&#8230;?] you want to hang out of the train? You hang out of the train! You get \u00a0[&#8230;?]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">You wanna get to the doctor? You don&#8217;t have to get to the doctor! Why? There&#8217;s an old boy in the street with medicine. Get the run around and wait in the queue and ring up, \u00abCan I get an appointment? See a doctor and get a prescription?\u00bb No, you buy off this bloke, in the street, and my mate in North London, he gets me he buys medicine of an old Indian bloke in the street! <em>\u00abWhy?\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">I said, <em>\u00abI&#8217;ll tell you why, mate. Because he&#8217;s 300 years old, he&#8217;s got one tooth and he lives in a bin. He&#8217;s STILL ALIVE! That&#8217;s why&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/6xxiK6Z4eXs\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">All right.\u00a0 You&#8217;ve just witnessed the beginning of Apocalypse . . . \u21d1\u00a0 Thank you sir.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">I&#8217;m actually originally from Australia and, er, it&#8217;s good to be up in here about ten years and I&#8217;ve been here\u00a0this summer. The summer is being fucking brilliant this year &#8211; here and out in London &#8211; Two weeks of fucking sun! And I&#8217;m not being patronising &#8211; it&#8217;s fucking excellent &#8211; and, er, it is &#8211; &#8216;cause actually you have a better summer than in Australia, &#8216;cause it&#8217;s actually bearable, you know, in fucking Australia it&#8217;s hot as fucking shit, you understand? Four\u00a0months at a time, and the Europeans go, \u00abHow come the Aboriginals didn&#8217;t build anything?\u00bb Because it&#8217;s hot as fucking shit! \u00a0[&#8230;?]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;You wanna build a castle?&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;Fuck that! I&#8217;m going to the beach . . .&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">I live in Manchester, which I like a lot. Is there anyone from the North up here? &#8230;And it&#8217;s cool up there. I like it. \u00abSorry darling?\u00bb<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Birmingham? Birmingham? It&#8217;s , er, Midlands, Midlands, we&#8217;re talking fucking North, mate, Manchester [&#8230;?]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Canal Street &#8211; it&#8217;s a gay bar in Manchester &#8211; it&#8217;s a very very openly gay scene up in Manchester, very cool, but these fellows, quite strange things, this fellow in Manchester, he came up to me, because you know, if you wear an earring in your right ear, which I do, you say in England that man&#8217;s gay&#8230; <em>\u00abIt&#8217;s fucking weird; he does? Oh, it&#8217;s weird mate, say, in Australia it&#8217;s when you get your cock in another man&#8217;s ass.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">He got a lot of catching up to do&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">No, I admit I have some homophobic friends; no-one is supposed to be like that any more, because it&#8217;s the age of political correctness, which is actually intellectual colonialism and psychological fascism to the creation of thought-crime, but I&#8217;ve got some homophobic friends and they&#8217;re&#8230;they&#8217;re very funny and a&#8230; a lot of people go, tiptoe that, <em>&#8216;Is he homophobic? Well, they <strong>shouldn&#8217;t<\/strong> be.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;Well, they are.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;They should stop it.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;Well they&#8217;re <strong>not<\/strong>.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;But they <strong>shouldn&#8217;t<\/strong>.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;Well, you go and tell them.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">I mean, they&#8217;re not mental cases, my mates; they don&#8217;t hit game, they&#8217;re not waiting in the woods with a\u00a0crossbow, they&#8217;re not fucking insane. They just don&#8217;t want the kids and that&#8217;s the fucking deal. One of my mates, specially, is my agent, he still can&#8217;t be without his child, but I saw him about a month ago and he&#8217;s still freaking out.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;I don&#8217;t like them, mate. I don&#8217;t like them.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>You don&#8217;t like who?\u00a0There&#8217;s the porter man.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;The gays mate. I don&#8217;t like them.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;Why not mate\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;Cause I&#8217;ll tell you why not. &#8216;Cause they are not real men. They&#8217;re not tough.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">They are not tough &#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;They fuck men.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">It&#8217;s hard to be gay. While the straight one: <em>&#8216;Ooh I&#8217;m on a woman. Soft &#8230; feminine.&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;What do you want, dude?<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>&#8216;I wanna fuck a bloke . . .&#8217;<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a4 Ethnocide in the Outback <\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">An animated history of Australia, from European discovery to modern days; funny, slapstick humour, with a little satire thrown in \u2193<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>\u25ca Australian Aboriginal Genocide \u2193 [info from Australian government sources]<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u2022\u2192 Aboriginal History \u21d0 From the Dreamtime to the arrival of the British&#8230;till [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":8322,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[180,291],"tags":[200,259],"class_list":["post-8321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vid","category-monologues","tag-documentary","tag-ozz","odd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/28"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8321"}],"version-history":[{"count":59,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55639,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8321\/revisions\/55639"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8322"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}