{"id":7159,"date":"2014-10-15T12:49:42","date_gmt":"2014-10-15T12:49:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eoisabi.org\/?p=7159"},"modified":"2026-04-03T21:10:57","modified_gmt":"2026-04-03T21:10:57","slug":"roald-dahl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/?p=7159","title":{"rendered":"Roald Dahl"},"content":{"rendered":"<h6 style=\"text-align: left;\">\u2666 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.classicshorts.com\/stories\/south.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Man From The South<\/a>\u00a0\u21d0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 1916 &#8211; 1990<\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">The narrator of this famous story is never named, but I always presumed him to be an English writer (i.e. Dahl&#8217;s<a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymotion.com\/video\/xvhl0h_alfred-hitchcock-presents-1985-man-from-the-south_creation\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-8732\" title=\"man_S\" src=\"http:\/\/www.eoisabi.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/man_S.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"197\" height=\"148\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/man_S.gif 197w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/man_S-150x112.gif 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 197px) 100vw, 197px\" \/><\/a> stand-in). This narrator is lounging by a pool at a Jamaican hotel when he meets a strange little South American man in a white suit and cream Panama hat. They are joined by an American boy and an English girl, and the boy offers them all a cigarette. When he boasts that his lighter always lights, even in such wind, the old man asks if he&#8217;s willing to bet on it. The boy is surprised but agrees to bet a dollar. The old man laughs and offers to up the stakes: If the boy can light his lighter ten times in a row, he will give him a brand new Cadillac. If the boy loses, the man will cut off the little finger on his left hand. After some deliberation, the boy agrees to the bet. They all go up to the old man&#8217;s room where he prepares for the bet. The boy&#8217;s hand is tied to the desk with his pinky sticking out and the man holds a chopping knife at the ready. The boy makes it up to eight successful lights when the door suddenly opens and a woman rushes in yelling in Spanish. She throws the old man down on the bed and apologizes to the others. She says that she should not have left him alone and that he has taken forty-seven fingers where they come from. She eventually managed to win everything from him, but it took her a long time. The last thing the narrator sees as he leaves the room is the woman&#8217;s hand&#8230; with only one finger and one thumb left on it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">\u25ca \u00a0<strong>Norman Lloyd<\/strong>&#8216;s film\u00a0adaptation of Dahl&#8217;s story \u00a0\u21d1 \u00a0Presented by <strong>A.<\/strong>\u00a0<strong>Hitchcock <\/strong>[1960]<\/p>\n<p>\u25ca \u00a0<strong>Quentin Tarantino<\/strong>&#8216;s\u00a01995 adaptation \u00a0in \u00ab<strong>FOUR ROOMS<\/strong>\u00bb \u2193\u00a0\u00a0Movie clip<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/OsH_JszzicE\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u0398\u00a0 Two stories you can read &amp; listen at esl-bits:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"text-align: right;\">\n<h6><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/esl-bits.net\/ESL.English.Listening.Short.Stories\/Twits\/01\/default.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u2022\u2192 &#8216;The Twits&#8217;<\/a>\u00a0 \u21d0<\/strong><\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: right;\">\n<h6><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/esl-bits.net\/ESL.English.Listening.Short.Stories\/Fantastic.Mr.Fox\/01\/default.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u2022\u2192 &#8216;Fantastic Mr Fox&#8217;<\/a>\u00a0 \u21d0<\/strong><\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h6>\u00a4\u2192\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.classicshorts.com\/stories\/lamb.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lamb to the Slaughter<\/a>\u00a0 \u21d3<\/h6>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=drIPMTcR0G8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-51310\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Lambtotheslaughter.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"431\" height=\"226\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Lambtotheslaughter.jpg 310w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Lambtotheslaughter-300x158.jpg 300w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Lambtotheslaughter-150x79.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 431px) 100vw, 431px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Mary Maloney is a devoted wife and expectant mother. She waits happily each night for the arrival of her husband Patrick, home from work at the police station. On this particular night, though, she can tell something is wrong. In disbelief, she listens as Patrick tells her that he is leaving her for another woman. [Actually Dahl never really says this; the details are left up to the reader&#8217;s imagination.] Dazed, she goes into the kitchen to prepare their supper and pulls a large frozen leg of lamb from the deep freeze. Still numb, she carries it into the living room and without warning bashes her husband over the head with it. As she looks at Patrick lying dead on the floor, she slowly begins to come back to her senses. Immediately she realizes the ramifications of what she has done.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Not wanting her unborn child to suffer as a result of her crime, she begins planning her alibi. She places the leg of lamb in a pan in the oven and goes down to the corner grocery to get some food for \u00abPatrick&#8217;s dinner\u00bb (making sure the grocer sees her normal and cheerful state of mind). She returns home and screams when she finds Patrick lying on the floor. She calls the police and informs them that she found her husband lying dead on the floor. Within hours swarms of officers are searching the house and conducting an investigation. Mary&#8217;s story of coming home from the grocer and finding him is corroborated as she had planned. While the police are searching fruitlessly into the night for the murder weapon, Mary offers them some lamb that she had prepared for dinner. They are happy to oblige. While they lounge in the kitchen and discuss the case (their mouths \u00absloppy\u00bb with meat), Mary Maloney sits in the living room and giggles softly to herself.<\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">\u03a6 \u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Matilda<\/span>\u00a0 \u00a0[Chapter 1]\u00a0 \u00a0 \u21d3\u00a0 <\/span><strong>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/jssisdubai.com\/Document\/Uploaded\/Matilda.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Reader of Books<\/a>\u00a0\u21d0<\/strong><\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Q4-d694Jjq8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-51316\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Matilda.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"173\" height=\"265\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Matilda.jpg 326w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Matilda-196x300.jpg 196w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Matilda-98x150.jpg 98w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 173px) 100vw, 173px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<address style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00abIt&#8217;s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.\u00a0Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius &#8230;\u00bb<\/address>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.e-reading.ws\/bookreader.php\/1010576\/Dahl_-_The_Magic_Finger.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-41016 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.eoisabi.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/MagicFinger.jpg\" alt=\"MagicFinger\" width=\"170\" height=\"131\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/MagicFinger.jpg 170w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/MagicFinger-150x115.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 170px) 100vw, 170px\" \/><\/a><\/h5>\n<h5><strong>\u21d0 The Magic Finger<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>\u21d0Click for the book, illustrated by <strong>Quentin Blake<\/strong><\/p>\n<h6><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/L06VOUPFofU\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/h6>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/R4mpfPlAIZ0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: left;\">\u2207\u00a0 \u00a0The Big Friendly Giant \u00a0[&#8216;The BFG&#8217;]<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=x5rpxtLKeCw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-42886\" src=\"http:\/\/www.eoisabi.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/BFG.jpg\" alt=\"BFG\" width=\"186\" height=\"270\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/BFG.jpg 186w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/BFG-103x150.jpg 103w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 186px) 100vw, 186px\" \/><\/a><\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif, sans-serif;\">When\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif, sans-serif;\">orphan<\/span><span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif, sans-serif;\">\u00a0Sophie is kidnapped from her bed by a Giant, she fears that he&#8217;s going to eat her. But although he carries her far away to Giant Country, the Giant has no intention of hurting her. As he explains, in his odd way of talking, <em>\u00abI is the only nice and jumbly Giant in Giant Country! I is THE BIG FRIENDLY GIANT! I is the BFG.\u00bb<\/em> The BFG tells Sophie how he mixes up dreams to blow through a trumpet into the rooms of sleeping children&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u2022 \u00a0Chapter 1 \u00a0. . . \u00a0\u00a0<strong>\u00abThe Witching Hour\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Sophie couldn&#8217;t sleep.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>A brilliant moonbeam was slanting through a gap in the curtains. It was shining right on to her pillow.\u00a0The other children in the dormitory had been asleep for hours.\u00a0Sophie closed her eyes and lay quite still. She tried very hard to doze off.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>It was no good. The moonbeam was like a silver blade slicing through the room on to her face.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>The window behind the curtain was wide open, but nobody was walking on the pavement outside. No cars went by on the street. Not the tiniest sound could be heard anywhere. Sophie had never known such a silence.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Perhaps, she told herself, this was what they called the witching hour.\u00a0The witching hour, somebody had once whispered to her, was a special moment in the middle of the night when every child and every grown-up was in a deep deep sleep, and all the dark things came out from hiding and had the world to themselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">*\u00a0 *\u00a0 *<\/p>\n<h6>\u2666\u2192 \u00a0\u00a0 TASTE\u00a0 \u00a0\u21d3<\/h6>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=ZVn0g-1-HFM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-51317\" src=\"http:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Taste.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"378\" height=\"218\" srcset=\"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Taste.jpg 453w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Taste-300x173.jpg 300w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Taste-150x86.jpg 150w, https:\/\/englishroam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Taste-400x230.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 378px) 100vw, 378px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Roald Dahl&#8217;s humor-tinged story begins as a dinner gathering and grows into a rivalry between home owner Mike Schofield and an arrogant, overbearing wine expert named Richard Pratt. Schofield challenges Pratt to a test of his expertise and their wager grows until the stakes are immense. Neither party can afford to lose but neither will call off the bet.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VBnMq7dVNIg\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">[ . . . ]<\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a4 \u00a0 Revolting Rhymes animated \u00a0\u21d3 \u00a0\u00a0<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.roalddahl.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">http:\/\/www.roalddahl.com\/<\/a>\u2190\u2022<\/strong><\/h5>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u25ca \u00a0The Pig \u00a0\u2193<\/strong><\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/0ojgwNQ1LFE\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>In England once there lived a big<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> A wonderfully clever pig.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To everybody it was plain<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> That Piggy had a massive brain.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He worked out sums inside his head,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> There was no book he hadn&#8217;t read.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He knew what made an airplane fly,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He knew how engines worked and why.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He knew all this, but in the end<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> One question drove him round the bend:<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He simply couldn&#8217;t puzzle out<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> What LIFE was really all about.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>What was the reason for his birth?<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Why was he placed upon this earth?<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> His giant brain went round and round.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Alas, no answer could be found.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Till suddenly one wondrous night.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> All in a flash he saw the light.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He jumped up like a ballet dancer<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And yelled, \u00abBy gum, I&#8217;ve got the answer!\u00bb<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abThey want my bacon slice by slice<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abTo sell at a tremendous price!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abThey want my tender juicy chops<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abTo put in all the butcher&#8217;s shops!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abThey want my pork to make a roast<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abAnd that&#8217;s the part&#8217;ll cost the most!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abThey want my sausages in strings!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abThey even want my chitterlings!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abThe butcher&#8217;s shop! The carving knife!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abThat is the reason for my life!\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Such thoughts as these are not designed<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To give a pig great peace of mind.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> A pail of pigswill in his hand,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And piggy with a mighty roar,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Bashes the farmer to the floor\u2026<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Now comes the rather grizzly bit<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> So let&#8217;s not make too much of it,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Except that you must understand<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He ate him up from head to toe,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Chewing the pieces nice and slow.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> It took an hour to reach the feet,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Because there was so much to eat,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And when he finished, Pig, of course,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Felt absolutely no remorse.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Slowly he scratched his brainy head<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And with a little smile he said,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abI had a fairly powerful hunch<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abThat he might have me for his lunch.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abAnd so, because I feared the worst,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u00abI thought I&#8217;d better eat him first.\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u25ca \u2192\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=HZ6g7-V3mnw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Crocodile<\/a> \u00a0\u2193<\/strong><\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/WuDnBF5-NLQ\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u00abNo animal is half as vile<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> As Crocky\u2013Wock, the crocodile.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> On Saturdays he likes to crunch<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Six juicy children for his lunch<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And he especially enjoys<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Just three of each, three girls, three boys.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He smears the boys (to make them hot)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> With mustard from the mustard pot.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> But mustard doesn&#8217;t go with girls,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> It tastes all wrong with plaits and curls.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> With them, what goes extremely well<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Is butterscotch and caramel.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> It&#8217;s such a super marvelous treat<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> When boys are hot and girls are sweet.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> At least that&#8217;s Crocky&#8217;s point of view<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He ought to know. He&#8217;s had a few.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> That&#8217;s all for now. It&#8217;s time for bed.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Lie down and rest your sleepy head.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Ssh. Listen. What is that I hear,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Galumphing softly up the stair?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Go lock the door and fetch my gun!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Go on child, hurry! Quickly run!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> No stop! Stand back! He&#8217;s coming in!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Oh, look, that greasy greenish skin!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The shining teeth, the greedy smile!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> It&#8217;s Crocky\u2013Wock, the Crocodile!\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u25ca \u00a0Cinderella \u00a0\u2193<\/strong><\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/MtXGmnR9F5Y\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>I guess you think you know this story.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> You don&#8217;t. The real one&#8217;s much more gory.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The phoney one, the one you know,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Was cooked up years and years ago,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And made to sound all soft and sappy<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> just to keep the children happy.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Mind you, they got the first bit right,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The bit where, in the dead of night,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Departed for the Palace Ball,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> While darling little Cinderella<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Was locked up in a slimy cellar,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Where rats who wanted things to eat,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Began to nibble at her feet.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>She bellowed &#8216;Help!&#8217; and &#8216;Let me out!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Magic Fairy heard her shout.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Appearing in a blaze of light,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She said: &#8216;My dear, are you all right?&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;All right?&#8217; cried Cindy .&#8217;Can&#8217;t you see<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;I feel as rotten as can be!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She beat her fist against the wall,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And shouted, &#8216;Get me to the Ball!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;There is a Disco at the Palace!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;The rest have gone and I am jealous!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;I want a dress! I want a coach!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;And earrings and a diamond brooch!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;And silver slippers, two of those!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;And lovely nylon panty hose!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Done up like that I&#8217;ll guarantee<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;The handsome Prince will fall for me!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Fairy said, &#8216;Hang on a tick.&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She gave her wand a mighty flick<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And quickly, in no time at all,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Cindy was at the Palace Ball!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>It made the Ugly Sisters wince<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To see her dancing with the Prince.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She held him very tight and pressed<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> herself against his manly chest.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Prince himself was turned to pulp,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> All he could do was gasp and gulp.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Then midnight struck. She shouted,&#8217;Heck!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> I&#8217;ve got to run to save my neck!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Prince cried, &#8216;No! Alas! Alack!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He grabbed her dress to hold her back.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> As Cindy shouted, &#8216;Let me go!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The dress was ripped from head to toe.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>She ran out in her underwear,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And lost one slipper on the stair.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Prince was on it like a dart,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He pressed it to his pounding heart,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;The girl this slipper fits,&#8217; he cried,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> I&#8217;ll visit every house in town<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Until I&#8217;ve tracked the maiden down!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Then rather carelessly, I fear,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He placed it on a crate of beer.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>At once, one of the Ugly Sisters,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> (The one whose face was blotched with blisters)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And quickly flushed it down the loo.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Then in its place she calmly put<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The slipper from her own left foot.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Ah ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And Cindy&#8217;s luck starts looking sicker.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Next day, the Prince went charging down<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To knock on all the doors in town.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> In every house, the tension grew.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Who was the owner of the shoe?<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The shoe was long and very wide.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> (A normal foot got lost inside.)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Also it smelled a wee bit icky.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> (The owner&#8217;s feet were hot and sticky.)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Thousands of eager people came<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To try it on, but all in vain.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Now came the Ugly Sisters&#8217; go.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> One tried it on. The Prince screamed, &#8216;No!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> But she screamed, &#8216;Yes! It fits! Whoopee!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;So now you&#8217;ve got to marry me!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Prince went white from ear to ear.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He muttered, &#8216;Let me out of here.&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Oh no you don&#8217;t! You made a vow!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;There&#8217;s no way you can back out now!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Off with her head!&#8217;The Prince roared back.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> They chopped it off with one big whack.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;She&#8217;s prettier without her head.&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Then up came Sister Number Two,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Who yelled, &#8216;Now I will try the shoe!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Try this instead!&#8217; the Prince yelled back.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He swung his trusty sword and smack<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Her head went crashing to the ground.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> It bounced a bit and rolled around.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> In the kitchen, peeling spuds,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Cinderella heard the thuds<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Of bouncing heads upon the floor,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And poked her own head round the door.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;What&#8217;s all the racket? &#8216;Cindy cried.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Mind your own bizz,&#8217; the Prince replied.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Poor Cindy&#8217;s heart was torn to shreds.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> My Prince! she thought. He chops off heads!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> How could I marry anyone<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Who does that sort of thing for fun?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>The Prince cried, &#8216;Who&#8217;s this dirty slut?<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Off with her nut! Off with her nut!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Just then, all in a blaze of light,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Magic Fairy hove in sight,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Cindy! &#8216;she cried, &#8216;come make a wish!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Wish anything and have no doubt<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;That I will make it come about!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Cindy answered, &#8216;Oh kind Fairy,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;This time I shall be more wary.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;No more Princes, no more money.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;I have had my taste of honey.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> I&#8217;m wishing for a decent man.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;They&#8217;re hard to find. D&#8217;you think you can?&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Within a minute, Cinderella<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Was married to a lovely feller,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> A simple jam maker by trade,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Who sold good home-made marmalade.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Their house was filled with smiles and laughter<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And they were happy ever after.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u25ca \u00a0Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs \u00a0\u2193<\/strong><\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/zUlq2OA_Z0M\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>When little Snow-White\u2019s mother died<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The King, her father, up and cried<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cOh, what a nuisance! What a life!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Now I must find another wife.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> (It\u2019s never easy for a King<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To find himself that sort of thing.)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He wrote to every magazine<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And said, \u201cI\u2019m looking for a Queen.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> At least ten thousand girls replied<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And begged to be the royal bride<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The king said with a shifty smile<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cI\u2019d like to give each one a trial.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> However, in the end he chose<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> A lady called Miss Maclahose<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Who brought along a curious toy<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> That seemed to give her endless joy.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> This was a mirror framed in brass<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> A MAGIC TALKING LOOKING GLASS<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Ask it something day or night<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> It always got the answer right<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> For instance, if you were to say<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cOh Mirror, what\u2019s for lunch today?\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The thing would answer in a trice<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cToday it\u2019s scrambled eggs and rice.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Now every day, week in week out<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The spoiled and stupid Queen would shout<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cOh Mirror Mirror on the wall<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Who is the fairest of them all?\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Mirror answered every time<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cOh Madam, you\u2019re the Queen sublime<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> You are the only one to charm us<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Queen, you are the cat\u2019s pyjamas.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>For ten whole years the silly Queen<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Repeated this absurd routine<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Then suddenly, one awful day<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She heard the Magic Mirror say<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cFrom now on Queen, you\u2019re number two<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Snow-White is prettier than you.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Queen went absolutely wild<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She yelled, \u201cI\u2019m going to scrag that child.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cI\u2019ll cook her flaming goose, I\u2019ll skin her<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> I\u2019ll have her rotten guts for dinner.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She called the Huntsman to her study<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She shouted at him, \u201cListen, buddy,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> You drag that filthy girl outside<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And see you take her for a ride<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Thereafter slit her ribs apart<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And bring me back her bleeding heart.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Huntsman dragged the lovely child<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Deep deep into the forest wild<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Fearing the worst, poor Snow-White spake<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She cried, \u201cOh please give me a break.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The knife was poised, the arm was strong<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She cried again, \u201cI\u2019ve done no wrong.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Huntsman\u2019s heart began to flutter<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> It melted like a pound of butter.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He murmured, \u201cOkay, beat it, kid.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And you can bet your life she did<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Later, the Huntsman made a stop<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Within the local butcher\u2019s shop<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And there he bought, for safety\u2019s sake<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> A bullocks heart and one nice steak<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cOh Majesty! Oh Queen,\u201d he cried<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cThat rotten little girl has died.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And just to prove I didn\u2019t cheat<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> I\u2019ve brought along these bits of meat.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Queen cried out, \u201cBravissimo<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> I trust you killed her nice and slow.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Then (this is the disgusting part)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Queen sat down and ate the heart<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> (I only hope she cooked it well<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Boiled heart can be as tough as hell)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>While all this was going on<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Oh where, oh where had Snow-White gone?<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She\u2019d found it easy, being pretty<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To hitch a ride into the city<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And there she\u2019d got a job, unpaid<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> As general cook and parlour-maid<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> With seven funny little men<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Each one not more than three foot ten<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Ex horse-race jockeys, all of them<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> These seven dwarfs, though awfully nice<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Were guilty of one shocking vice<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> They squandered all of their resources<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> At the race-track backing horses<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> (When they hadn\u2019t backed a winner<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> None of them got any dinner)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> One evening, Snow-White said, \u201cLook here,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> I think I\u2019ve got a great idea<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Just leave it all to me, okay,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And no more gambling till I say.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> That very night, at eventide<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Young Snow-White hitched another ride<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And then, when it was very late<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She slipped in through the Palace gate<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The King was in his counting house<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Counting out his money<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Queen was in the parlour<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Eating bread and honey<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The footmen and the servants slept<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> So no one saw her as she crept<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> On tip-toe through the mighty hall<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And grabbed THE MIRROR off the wall<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>As soon as she had got it home<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She told the Senior Dwarf (or Gnome)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To ask it what he wished to know<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cGo on,\u201d she shouted, \u201cHave a go.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He said, \u201cOh Mirror, please don\u2019t joke<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Each of us is stony broke<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Which horse will win tomorrow\u2019s race,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Ascot Gold Cup Steeple-chase?\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Mirror whispered sweet and low<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> \u201cThe horse\u2019s name is Mistletoe.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Dwarfs went absolutely daft<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> They kissed young Snow-White fore and aft<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Then rushed away to raise some dough<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> With which to back old Mistletoe<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> They pawned their watches, sold the car<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> They borrowed money near and far<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> (For much of it they had to thank<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Manager of Barclays Bank)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>They went to Ascot and of course<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> For once they backed the winning horse<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Thereafter, every single day<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The Mirror made the bookies pay<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Each Dwarf and Snow-White got a share<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And each was soon a millionaire<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Which shows that gambling\u2019s not a sin<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Provided that you always win.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u25ca \u00a0Goldilocks and the Three Bears \u00a0\u2193<\/strong><\/h6>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/3c0J0fUQ5dc\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u00abThis famous wicked little tale<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Should never have been put on sale<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> It is a mystery to me<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Why loving parents cannot see<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> That this is actually a book<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> About a brazen little crook&#8230;\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u00ab&#8230;Now just imagine how you&#8217;d feel<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> If you had cooked a lovely meal,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Delicious porridge, steaming hot,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Fresh coffee in the coffee pot,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> With maybe toast and marmalade,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The table beautifully laid,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> One place for you and one for dad,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Another for your little lad.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Then dad cries, &#8216;Golly\u2013gosh! Gee whizz!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Oh cripes! How hot this porridge is!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Let&#8217;s take a walk along the street<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Until it&#8217;s cool enough to eat.&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> He adds, &#8216;An early morning stroll<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Is good for people on the whole.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;It makes your appetite improve<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;It also helps your bowels move.&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> No proper wife would dare to question<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Such a sensible suggestion,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Above all not at breakfast\u2013time<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> When men are seldom at their prime.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> No sooner are you down the road<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Than Goldilocks, that little toad<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> That nosey thieving little louse,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Comes sneaking in your empty house&#8230;.\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u00ab&#8230;(Here comes the next catastrophe.)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Most educated people choose<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To rid themselves of socks and shoes<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Before they clamber into bed.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> But Goldie didn&#8217;t give a shred.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Her filthy shoes were thick with grime,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> And mud and mush and slush and slime.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Worse still, upon the heel of one<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Was something that a dog had done.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> I say once more, what would you think<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> If all this horrid dirt and stink<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Was smeared upon your eiderdown<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> By this revolting little clown?<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> (The famous story has no clues<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> To show the girl removed her shoes.)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Oh, what a tale of crime on crime!<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Let&#8217;s check it for a second time.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Crime One, the prosecution&#8217;s case:<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She breaks and enters someone&#8217;s place.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Crime Two, the prosecutor notes:<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> She steals a bowl of porridge oats.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Crime Three: She breaks a precious chair<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Belonging to the Baby Bear.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Crime Four: She smears each spotless sheet<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> With filthy messes from her feet.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>A judge would say without a blink,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Ten years hard labour in the clink!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> But in the book, as you will see,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> The little beast gets off scot\u2013free,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> While tiny children near and far<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Shout &#8216;Goody\u2013good! Hooray! Hurrah!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Poor darling Goldilocks!&#8217; they say,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Thank goodness that she got away!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Myself, I think I&#8217;d rather send<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> Young Goldie to a sticky end.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Oh daddy!&#8217; cried the Baby Bear,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;My porridge gone! It isn&#8217;t fair!&#8217;<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Then go upstairs,&#8217; the Big Bear said,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;Your porridge is upon the bed.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;But as it&#8217;s inside mademoiselle,<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> &#8216;You&#8217;ll have to eat her up as well.\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>\u25ca \u2192\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VsYvHuvX1EE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">TELEVISION<\/a> \u00a0\u2193<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/tnRVfEL6178\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The most important thing we&#8217;ve learned, so far as children are concerned,<br \/>\nIs never, NEVER, NEVER let them near your television set &#8212;<br \/>\nOr better still, just don&#8217;t install the idiotic thing at all.<br \/>\nIn almost every house we&#8217;ve been, we&#8217;ve watched them gaping at the screen.<br \/>\nThey loll and slop and lounge about, and stare until their eyes pop out.<br \/>\n(Last week in someone&#8217;s place we saw a\u00a0dozen eyeballs on the floor.)<br \/>\nThey sit and stare and stare and sit until they&#8217;re hypnotised by it,<br \/>\nUntil they&#8217;re absolutely drunk with all that shocking ghastly junk.<br \/>\nOh yes, we know it keeps them still, they don&#8217;t climb out the window sill,<br \/>\nThey never fight or kick or punch, they leave you free to cook the lunch<br \/>\nAnd wash the dishes in the sink &#8212;\u00a0But did you ever stop to think,<br \/>\nTo wonder just exactly what this does to your beloved tot?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!<br \/>\nIT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!<br \/>\nIT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!<br \/>\nIT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND<br \/>\nHE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND<br \/>\nA FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!<br \/>\nHIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!<br \/>\nHIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!<br \/>\nHE CANNOT THINK &#8212; HE ONLY SEES!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8216;All right!&#8217; you&#8217;ll cry. &#8216;All right!&#8217; you&#8217;ll say,<br \/>\n&#8216;But if we take the set away,<br \/>\nWhat shall we do to entertain<br \/>\nOur darling children? Please explain!&#8217;<br \/>\nWe&#8217;ll answer this by asking you,<br \/>\n&#8216;What used the darling ones to do?<br \/>\n&#8216;How used they keep themselves contented<br \/>\nBefore this monster was invented?&#8217;<br \/>\nHave you forgotten? Don&#8217;t you know?<br \/>\nWe&#8217;ll say it very loud and slow:<br \/>\nTHEY &#8230; USED &#8230; TO &#8230; READ! They&#8217;d READ and READ,<br \/>\nAND READ and READ, and then proceed<br \/>\nTo READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!<br \/>\nOne half their lives was reading books!<br \/>\nThe nursery shelves held books galore!<br \/>\nBooks cluttered up the nursery floor!<br \/>\nAnd in the bedroom, by the bed,<br \/>\nMore books were waiting to be read!<br \/>\nSuch wondrous, fine, fantastic tales<br \/>\nOf dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales<br \/>\nAnd treasure isles, and distant shores<br \/>\nWhere smugglers rowed with muffled oars,<br \/>\nAnd pirates wearing purple pants,<br \/>\nAnd sailing ships and elephants,<br \/>\nAnd cannibals crouching &#8216;round the pot,<br \/>\nStirring away at something hot.<br \/>\n(It smells so good, what can it be?<br \/>\nGood gracious, it&#8217;s Penelope.)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The younger ones had Beatrix Potter with Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,<br \/>\nAnd Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland, and Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-<br \/>\nJust How The Camel Got His Hump, and How the Monkey Lost His Rump,<br \/>\nAnd Mr. Toad, and bless my soul, there&#8217;s Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-<br \/>\nOh, books, what books they used to know, those children living long ago!<br \/>\nSo please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away,<br \/>\nAnd in its place you can install a\u00a0lovely bookshelf on the wall.<br \/>\nThen fill the shelves with lots of books, ignoring all the dirty looks,<br \/>\nThe screams and yells, the bites and kicks, and children hitting you with sticks-<br \/>\nFear not, because we promise you that, in about a week or two<br \/>\nOf having nothing else to do, they&#8217;ll now begin to feel the need\u00a0of having something to read.<br \/>\nAnd once they start &#8212; oh boy, oh boy! \u00a0You watch the slowly growing joy<\/p>\n<div>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">That fills their hearts. They&#8217;ll grow so keen<br \/>\nThey&#8217;ll wonder what they&#8217;d ever seen in that ridiculous machine,<br \/>\nThat nauseating, foul, unclean, repulsive television screen!<br \/>\nAnd later, each and every kid will love you more for what you did.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u2666 Man From The South \u21d0 1916 &#8211; 1990 <\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">The narrator of this famous story is never named, but I always presumed him to be an English writer (i.e. Dahl&#8217;s stand-in). This narrator is lounging by a pool at a Jamaican hotel when he meets a strange little South American man in a [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":19372,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[170,288],"tags":[175,194,263,298],"class_list":["post-7159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","category-poem","tag-story","tag-full-film","tag-mod_classics","tag-wales","odd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/28"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7159"}],"version-history":[{"count":102,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55996,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7159\/revisions\/55996"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/19372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/englishroam.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}